i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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