are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
