Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
