I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I wish you could order shots online.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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