oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
