Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
