he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
