Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
