Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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