im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
