you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
