I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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