"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
its liver damage thursday
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
