I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
