Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
