just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
