do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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