What did we do last night that was yellow?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
