she was so not down for the gang bang
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
