we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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