I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
