there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
