Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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