One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
