Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
