Fine. I'll sleep in my office
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
