I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
