thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
