4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
