Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I wanna passion pit in your ass
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
