dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Did I show you my penis last night?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
