The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
