you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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