I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
