im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
