im drinking this country out of the recession.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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