it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
