this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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