just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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