on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
