sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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