honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
