She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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