Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
