TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
