apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
