Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
