im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
