I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
