He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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