omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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